My dear friend Danni.

Danni Power has been my roommate for all the 4 semesters of college that I have attended. I met her through my first and still best friend Missy. They both were at EA while I was still a senior in high school. In the fall of 08 we moved into a real nice trailer mansion, we didn't have that instantly 'clicked' friendship, I was nice to Danni she was nice to me. Once november rolled around, me Danni Missy Julie and Kalie, all found ourlselves another apartment to move into because the trailer mansion was in fact a trailer dump. It was at Apartment B that Danni and I did our real building of our friendship. The two of us shared a room, and it was in that room that we would share as many clothes and perfumes as possible, stand on top of our beds and sing to Carrie Underwood, creep on people, we would climb in and out of our 3 foot window, I spent countless hours watching Danni get ready in the morning, I occasionally would make her toast, it was in apartment B that Danni became my close friend. I went through a real rough period spring semester, and Danni was there for me. If I wanted to just be left alone, she left me alone, and when it was time for me to talk she knew how to approach me. I could tell her everything I was feeling and there was never any judgment, only someone who was hoping to console me. I can honestly say that without her understanding personality I wouldnt have got through that time without her. Yes, its true most of our fun times were spent in the apartment, but Danni was the one who taught me how to go and "chill" at institute and watch the boys play basketball. She taught me how to eat Dairy Queen at 10 o clock at night and not feel bad about it, She taught me that its ok to withdraw from classes,by her being the most carefree and layed back chick I know, it somehow rubbed off on me. I learned not to be so picky, overly analytical, and dependent on what people thought of me. She was an awesome example of do what you want! We always joke that Danni is really a hippie at heart, I have so many more memories of this girl! Too many to name, I can always count on her, last fall I would call Danni at least twice a week to beg her to come back to EA with me, I promised her it would be fun and well worth it! And I didnt lie, she finally gave in and decided to go back with me, and in our Spring semester we grew even closer than before! Partly because our room was 4 by 4, but thats beside the point. We had a blast, it was during this semester that she went from being Danni my lovable reliable friend, to Dan my best friend who can one day be my kids god mother. this next Fall, is coming pretty fast, its something Im pretty nervous for, but everyday I remind myself I will have Danni to go back with me, and I cant help but feel like she is such a blessing, I have a best friend who was also a best friend to my boyfriend! It doesnt get better than that, because that means she understands what I am going through when I miss him, she will let me reminisce, she will let me cry, and she will help my heart heal. I really have been blessed to have her, Dan lets me know when I am being a brat, she would let me tell her every morning that I was prettier than her, she lets me act like the child I am, and I can almost always count on a cheap laugh out of her, and If I want to make a sonic run for the fourth time in the day she is always down! A best friend doesnt get better than her, Happy 21st Birthday week Dan! Sorry I cant spend it with you:( I love you!!!

LeTtEr DaY!!!!

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are." — Marjorie Pay Hinckley

What a beautiful quote, and I stole it off of someones status on facebook. But its stinkin true!! Today was such a great day for me, not only did Hayd email but I had two letters waiting for me at Cheas! Im not gonna lie I was a bit bummed out by his email, it was pretty short but his 2 long letters completely lifted my spirits and made up for it!! But it just kinda showed me that there are going to be weeks that his emails will be short, and I am going to have to remain strong and keep my faith in remembering that he does love me no matter what. I stumbled upon some chicks blog today and she wrote about how her missionary couldnt write her for 5 months! I think I would punch myself in the face if that was me! I honestly dont know if I could do that! After today I just cant stop marveling at how lucky I was to date Hayden, and everything he still tells me and how much he still believes in me, I cant help but feel so blessed to have him. Has anyone see P.S I love you, well in some sick twisted way I feel like Hilary Swank. His letters are so heart warming and uplifting and they always seem to come on the days that I need them most. Like on my birthday he had his brother text me happy birthday and just check in to see how I was holding up on behalf of Hayd. He cares so much! I have never met someone with such a big heart as him! A little dramatic, but me and Dan joke all the time that we feel like Hayd is either dead or at war, it doesnt feel like he is on the mish. So when I hear from him, I take a deep breath and feel so grateful that he is happy and well. I am going to have to post one of the letters he 'drew' for me. It was 3 letters taped together and it was a complete map of our 'ranch/home' in Idaho, it was so freakin hilarious and precious all at once! He had it detailed all way down to an air strip on our property so I could fly home to AZ and visit family anytime I wanted, there was also a small cottage built for family to stay at when they visited, and of course it wouldn't be complete with out a private lake. Seriously, it was to die for! So funny! Well his letters have definitely been the highlight of this week, and I feel so blessed. Its incredible how much of a different person I feel this time around, I feel so much more sure of where I am supposed to be headed with my life, and am more sure of who I am, and as much as it hurts to have him gone, its nice not to feel completely lost on who I am, I already did all that discovering within these past 2 years.These two years will be for me to grow more into the woman I am supposed to be and discover the kind of mom I want to be. The timing of everything that has come to pass is impeccable, everything has worked out exactly the way it was supposed to, and will continue to do so, and because I have that knowledge and confidence I can read that quote up top and completely understand and embrace it. the next year and 10 months wont be a rat race and as frantic as they will be a 'refinement' and sheer opportunity for me to grow more comfortable into the girl I already am.

To a girl who knows how to party!

Meet my niece Jessica. She is 2 years younger than me, and comes pretty darn close to the girl who doesn't have a worry in the world. This is a girl who texts me the most outrageous things that make me die laughing. When I asked her today if I had any mail at the house, she texted me back a letter came saying I won one million dollars. And on my birthday she asked me if I was going to be in town so she would know whether or not my surprise party was still on. She is too goofy. And I absolutely love the fact that she is jobless, gives her all 24 hours in the day to be on facebook to write creepy comments and talk to me!!! She is great, if you want a laugh hit her up, and if you have any job openings she is your girl!

For my Birthday:

One plane ticket to Guatemala please.

Good things to Come.

Today was church, and I went. I think when I go to church alone thats when I feel the spirit the strongest, I can reflect the best that way. Just sitting there singing the sacrament hymn I have to fight back tears. And I think its probably the only time in the week that my heart and mind is quiet enough for Heavenly Father to be able to send the spirit to comfort me. Especially today, I went to church because not only has it been a while, but I knew that I needed some peace and by taking the sacrament I knew I could find that. And I did. And on top of church I watched a 'Mormon message' at LDS.org, Good-Things-to-Come

Watch it, The last part of the video Elder Holland urges us with encouraging words, saying "dont you quit, keep walking, keep trying", and I feel like that was just what I needed, its just what we all need to hear every now and again. I have been feeling pretty weak lately, I was telling Hayden that I don't feel like I have a whole lot left, I feel like it all got beat out of me when he left, and everyday there is still a good solid punch to my stomach in the morning when I remember that he isn't here. And its not like this is the first hard thing in my life that I have had to overcome, but it is a different kind of hard than what I am acquainted with. Nothing has ever been as heart wrenching and emotionally tiring as this. But I am so lucky I am emailing the king of positive and 'nothing is impossible'. Between what he sends me every week, and my prayers, I am coming to find that Im gonna make it. That even though its feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is thousands of miles on down, I know its there. I have known for a long time that this was going to be hard, I made the decision to do this, and everything that is to come in the next couple of months will not be a coincidence, I know that I am going to encounter more hard times as school starts, I will find new problems, but I am starting to realize all the blessings and resources that I have as I keep on going. I have amazing roommates to help me every day, I will have Cheer to keep me striving for something, I have an enormous Mormon population to keep me active:) haha, school that will make me struggle ( a blessing in disguise, because struggling= distraction), and my letters from Hayden. So I guess its really not all that bad, someone very handsome and sweet once told me that nothing good in your life has come with out pain. And if that's not enough to lift you up I don't know what is. And I know that to be true because I literally cant think of a thing in my life that is good that I didnt have to fight for, or go through a type of pain before I received it.