Good things to Come.

Today was church, and I went. I think when I go to church alone thats when I feel the spirit the strongest, I can reflect the best that way. Just sitting there singing the sacrament hymn I have to fight back tears. And I think its probably the only time in the week that my heart and mind is quiet enough for Heavenly Father to be able to send the spirit to comfort me. Especially today, I went to church because not only has it been a while, but I knew that I needed some peace and by taking the sacrament I knew I could find that. And I did. And on top of church I watched a 'Mormon message' at LDS.org, Good-Things-to-Come

Watch it, The last part of the video Elder Holland urges us with encouraging words, saying "dont you quit, keep walking, keep trying", and I feel like that was just what I needed, its just what we all need to hear every now and again. I have been feeling pretty weak lately, I was telling Hayden that I don't feel like I have a whole lot left, I feel like it all got beat out of me when he left, and everyday there is still a good solid punch to my stomach in the morning when I remember that he isn't here. And its not like this is the first hard thing in my life that I have had to overcome, but it is a different kind of hard than what I am acquainted with. Nothing has ever been as heart wrenching and emotionally tiring as this. But I am so lucky I am emailing the king of positive and 'nothing is impossible'. Between what he sends me every week, and my prayers, I am coming to find that Im gonna make it. That even though its feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is thousands of miles on down, I know its there. I have known for a long time that this was going to be hard, I made the decision to do this, and everything that is to come in the next couple of months will not be a coincidence, I know that I am going to encounter more hard times as school starts, I will find new problems, but I am starting to realize all the blessings and resources that I have as I keep on going. I have amazing roommates to help me every day, I will have Cheer to keep me striving for something, I have an enormous Mormon population to keep me active:) haha, school that will make me struggle ( a blessing in disguise, because struggling= distraction), and my letters from Hayden. So I guess its really not all that bad, someone very handsome and sweet once told me that nothing good in your life has come with out pain. And if that's not enough to lift you up I don't know what is. And I know that to be true because I literally cant think of a thing in my life that is good that I didnt have to fight for, or go through a type of pain before I received it.